learned_to_die: <lj user="buckybear"> ([mood] welp/disappointed)
Eddard Stark ([personal profile] learned_to_die) wrote in [community profile] sixthiterationlogs 2018-04-26 04:04 am (UTC)

"I hadn't thought you did," Ned replies matter-of-factly. Despite their conflicting relationship, they are still family, still bound together by blood and by ties that can never (at least, ideally) be broken. He also knows that the two of them know that, and so long as they can be acceptably civil around one another when in each other's company, Ned will not ask for more. If, by some stroke of luck and work, they are able to be closer to one another, he'd very much prefer it, but he'll take diplomatic civility for now.

Ned takes his cues from his sister, lowering his stick, as well. He doesn't quite drop it from his grip, but it's clear his fingers have gone lax.

With a quiet sigh, he allows the stick to drop to the ground, closing the distance between them to take her hands in his.

"I was so focused on finding you, on saving you from what I thought was a terror for you. All I could think about was bringing you home, safe, keeping you near as one of the last members of our brood. I was angry at Rhaegar, as I'd not known the truth then. But at the first sight of you in that bed, hearing the sound of your voice, all of that .. was stripped away." He shakes his head, remembering it all with such vivid detail. "I was angry at the world for having taken you from me. I was angry at the world in which your son would have to grow in, knowing I couldn't protect him from his fate and from the scorn he'd receive from my wife. I was angry at Robert for having to put me in such a position in the first place.

"And, after I settled back into life at Winterfell, I .. was angry with you, for a time. But then I saw your son, I saw you in him, in his smile, in his eyes, in his very way of being, and I realized I could never hold onto such dark feelings. They'd only impede my ability to raise Jon as the best father I could manage to be for him, and I'd not wanted that for him. He didn't deserve it." He holds her gaze for a few quiet breaths. "And neither did you."

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