Once they're upstairs he'll have to carry on whatever impulse made him say that instead of no, I'm fine, and the lump in his chest almost starts to buzz. All of him wants to close up around it and go the conversational version of limp. Utterly uninteresting until the attention passes, and it's safe again.
But it's Bodhi, pressing as close as he ever dares, the tips of his fingers touching just behind Jude's ear. He barely kisses back this time, knotted as he is with a new anxiety, but he doesn't take it back.
Jude finishes pulling on fresh socks and pads upstairs after him: he doesn't think anyone would take his clothes, or misunderstand why they've been left by the fire. In a moment that isn't quite stalling, just finding something to ground in and shake off his nerves, he crouches to let Aurora lick his chin, rubbing at her ears. She's coming too, and maybe if Bodhi decides to sit in a corner, she'll lay back to back with him for awhile. Easier to achieve when your bed is cushions on a floor, but he'd seen through an open door a few times, her piled on top of her owner.
He almost starts it in the hall, but a door opens, someone filing past to the bathroom, and he waits until they're shutting the door on an empty room at the very end. "Sorry," he says, to have pulled them away from the fire. One hand holds up the oversized jeans, pinching the waistband against his hip. "It's just - it's like the memory thing. I don't like to talk about it." Even that was months ago, and not really mentioned since. It hasn't been as bad here. It's been so not bad that he's started to remember, and that's the problem.
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But it's Bodhi, pressing as close as he ever dares, the tips of his fingers touching just behind Jude's ear. He barely kisses back this time, knotted as he is with a new anxiety, but he doesn't take it back.
Jude finishes pulling on fresh socks and pads upstairs after him: he doesn't think anyone would take his clothes, or misunderstand why they've been left by the fire. In a moment that isn't quite stalling, just finding something to ground in and shake off his nerves, he crouches to let Aurora lick his chin, rubbing at her ears. She's coming too, and maybe if Bodhi decides to sit in a corner, she'll lay back to back with him for awhile. Easier to achieve when your bed is cushions on a floor, but he'd seen through an open door a few times, her piled on top of her owner.
He almost starts it in the hall, but a door opens, someone filing past to the bathroom, and he waits until they're shutting the door on an empty room at the very end. "Sorry," he says, to have pulled them away from the fire. One hand holds up the oversized jeans, pinching the waistband against his hip. "It's just - it's like the memory thing. I don't like to talk about it." Even that was months ago, and not really mentioned since. It hasn't been as bad here. It's been so not bad that he's started to remember, and that's the problem.