"The element of surprise? Make everyone think that I'm a fumbling idiot and then, BAM! come out with something super crazy smart when they least expect it. The long con!" Major has no idea what he's talking about now, mind running only at half capacity in terms of attention span thanks to Minor sucking up all of his proverbial bandwidth. He can't help it. He's so soft and furry and wrinkly and uncoordinated.

"Any what now?" he asks, looking up at Natasha. "I get that you're like, a living video game character, and you might as well be running around breaking pottery for hearts and rupees and all, but I'm a jock. A socially conscious, heart-of-gold jock. What's paracord?"