"Seattle was plenty hipster, man. I mean, we were not Portland, that's true, but we were damn close enough," Major says with a snorting scoff. "I don't hate the hipster movement in its entirety? I just hate the obnoxious jerks who took it too far. I wouldn't say no to one of those like, cold-pressed hand-brewed specially-poured feces-of-the-civet-cat-but-slightly-cheaper coffees that they all love right about now."

Major only offers a flat expression in return to that weak protest.

"I call bullshit. What did you do? I swear, her whole face dropped when I said I was your friend."