"I didn't, you're right, but instead of having a Princess Sparkles beard to sort of conceal some of the disaster, I instead had it smeared all over my face like that Vine of the baby covered in peanut butter, patting his naked body with that alarming slapping sound. I'm honestly surprised I didn't just throw up everywhere with how much I ate. It was a great feeling, though. Like .. really great." Major sighs wistfully, remembering the taste of ice cream. The thought of it makes his mouth water, and he hates himself for thinking of food.

Again.