"Ah, yeah. Well. She hates beards, FYI. So if you find yourself in the Beard Haters Club, you can find her, and I think she'll oblige you." He reaches up to scratch at his stubbly chin. "Personally, I've been more of a clean-shaven kinda guy, but I've grown my facial hair out on occasion. At this point, it's mostly that I need to figure out how to get a razor of my own instead of using dangerously sharp blades to trim the hair off. Or maybe I just let it all go and become the town's Rip Van Winkle." He could go with a long-ass snooze under a tree right about now.

"I mean, I guess it could have been through coercion or something, but I'd hope that modifying her body like that would have been because she wanted to have larger breasts - or the way some women get breast reductions. That kinda thing. I guess each situation is different, but I'd hope that if she did, it was because she wanted them, not because someone made her feel shitty about herself or something. And I've seen fake boobs gone wrong! It's scary, but more for the woman than for me. There's chemicals and stuff in those implants. Or there used to be, I think." He lets out a bit of a laugh. "Hey, I can't help it, okay? But I'm saying that I like them no matter what - size, shape, real, fake, whatever. They're nice. They're soft. I've known plenty of dudes who were gross about them, though. Took some serious craps on women who didn't have whatever kind of boob they thought was "best" and all that garbage. I'm a non-discriminatory boob man."

He'd gotten into a heated argument - or debate, really - with a room mate in college once, boobs vs. butt. He honestly appreciated all parts with no real pickiness, but he did have a preference for boobs when it came down to it.

"Could you imagine? I'd be the worst MJ impersonator out there!"