He doesn't know what it is--maybe just the series of bad starts, between them. Maybe the way Bodhi's body broadcasts his discomfort, in what should just be a conversation. Jude wonders how you teach someone to hide that, if Bodhi would want to learn. It doesn't sound like it, but even if what Bodhi says makes a kind of sense--his head pushes back. They're not the same person, they're not from the same kind of place. "Maybe it just doesn't work for you," Jude says.

But he doesn't want to leave it at that. He doesn't want to leave Bodhi rejected with no idea why, when things were almost good. Biting his lip, Jude lets it roll back out slow from his teeth, and he still doesn't quite look at Bodhi when he explains. "It gets harder to remember things, when I'm that stressed out. Or know if this place is real. I can't think about it too hard or I'll just lose it anyway."